In other less angst-y news, I recently found out that one of my best girlfriends is (FINALLY) pregnant. The very second she told me she was pregnant, I was already buying yarn in my mind. I am hoping for a little girl, because well, little girl knits are just too damn precious for words. Boy things are good, too, but well… I love pink, dammit.

So I started the First Coat by Debbie Bliss (ravelry link) from Essential Baby, but I’m not sure I like the yarn I was using (Knit Picks Swish Superwash in Bubblegum), so it’s sitting in the UFO box for now.

My crazy mormon cousin, who I don’t like very much (not because she’s mormon [well not entirely]) is also knocked up, so I figured I’d find a simple baby blanket pattern to make for her. After clicking around ravelry for about 9800 hours, I found one that was simple, and quick. I didn’t have the book with the pattern, so I figured it was easy enough to improvise.

So far, I have learned two things:

I loathe seed stitch if it’s more than a few rows.

I should never EVER knit while I’m drinking.

I don’t even know what the hell I did. It looks like I decided to start adding stitches.

Now I’m torn. I could rip back and fix that mistake, or I could just keep going, because I really don’t care if she likes it or not. She’ll probably never look at after the day I give it to her anyway. (This is why I’m so incredibly fond of this part of my family.)

Also, I’ve spent about a katrillion hours on ravelry lately looking at shawls.

God help me.

So. Last week, I went to visit my boyfriend in Virginia so that we could spend Valentine’s Day together.

I was stuck at Long Beach Airport with a fog delay, so I decided to take out my knitting. The guy next to me, who was annoying the SHIT OUT OF ME with his cell phone said, “Are you allowed to do that?”

“Do what?”

“Knit. At the airport.”

“Well, they let me through security, so I’m going to say yeah, it’s ok.”

“I didn’t think you could bring knitting needles with you. Aren’t they very sharp?”

“Well, they’re wood, not metal, and no, they’re not sharp. That pen in your hand is probably as sharp as my needle. Like I said, I got through security. And there’s a woman knitting down there, too. People are allowed to knit on planes now.”

“WELL. I didn’t know THAT.”

Dude, if fucking Al Qaeda is going to take down a JetBlue flight, it’s not going to be with a knitting needle.

(This is why I hate people.)

I’m still working  on the Central Park Hoodie - ok, that’s a lie - I haven’t worked on it in about two weeks. I think there’s something inside my brain that secretly doesn’t want me to finish anything, because the only thing I’ve finished is a garter stitch scarf that I made to wear to Virginia, which I of course didn’t finish until today. Four days after I got home. From Virginia. So I gave it to my sister.

When Scott (the boyfriend) met me at the airport, he was carrying this HIDEOUS Arsenal (English football team) scarf. Part of it was red and white, part of it looked like the Union Jack, part of it was black… it was just an eye sore. I love Scott. I adore this man more than I can put into words. But jesus effin christ, does he have no fashion sense. And he knows that. He loves things that are “tacky”. This scarf is beyond tacky. So I told him that I was going to knit him a scarf that didn’t make my eyes bleed.

I took to the interweb and started looking at different scarves that were more than just garter stitch. I have to tread lightly here, because he already has made a comment (though he swore up and down three months later that he never said it) that sometimes men’s knits look “a little fruity”. So I need to find something that he’ll actually WEAR.

After reading La’s post about the scarf and hat she’s making for her mom, I clicked around Hello Yarn and found this scarf, that has an X and O cable pattern. I think it’s totally adorable, and since we sign everything we write to each other with “xoxoxo”, I thought it would be cute. My problem is, I don’t know if HE will. Plus, I have a feeling it will take a while to knit with all that cabling and what not.

So, knitters, any suggestions for a quick testosterone-friendly scarf?

Crap, I didn’t realize I haven’t updated this thing since OCTOBER. But the truth is, I haven’t been doing that much exciting knitting.

I started the Central Park Hoodie in September, knitting it furiously with the intention of having it finished so I could wear it when I went to see my boyfriend in November.

Hahahahahahahahahaha.

When I realized that was not going to happen, I put it (and knitting in general) down for a few weeks. Around December, my company owner’s son talked about his organization (assisting homeless veterans) and the need for warm clothing items to hand out, so I came home and decided to make a dent in the crappy Caron One Pounders I have left from this lap blanket I made for my mom. So I made about a dozen garter-stitch scarves. I figured it would be easier (and twice as warm) and faster if I just knitted in the round and then just joined the ends of the tube with fringe.

I really thought it would use up the acrylic (I won’t use it but I refuse to get rid of it), but I swear that shit just keeps reproducing in the bag, because it’s still there.

Anyway. I have been working on the CPH. I have the back finished, and I almost have the left front finished. The front is going really fast, thanks to the pattern being easy to memorize, so I don’t need to mess with the chart every row. It’s pretty mindless as long as I remember to cable on the third row. I just need to work on it more.

I am going to finish it. I swear.

In other excited knitted item news, I received this little gem from Michelle(in addition to a Yarn Harlot book):

I have to tell you, seeing the word “hoar” in yarn brings a little tear to my eye.

I’ll update more. (No, really.)

On my way back to the freeway, I was sitting at a light next to a big Dodge truck. The truck was a bit ahead of me on my driver’s side. I had my window down. When the light turned green, the guy in the track slammed on his gas, and giant cloud of black smoke came out of the tailpipe, filling MY CAR. Well, knitters, I don’t think I have to tell you that the first thing I screamed out (and I did) was, “YOU MOTHERFUCKERS, I JUST SPENT A HUNDRED DOLLARS ON YARNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!” All I could smell was exhaust, and I was convinced my yarn would be ruined. But I drove down the 405 with all my windows open in the hopes of airing it out, and so far it seems OK. Man, was I pissed. When I finally got next to the guy in the truck, he and the moron with him were laughing hysterically, which only pissed me off more, and got me yelling more. Road rage is so much fun.

I decided to take fickleknitter’s advice about the feather and fan scarf, and try blocking it to see if the pattern would emerge.

That’s my giant cat Ike, who’s so big and hairy he doesn’t even care that he’s laying ON PINS. Don’t you love my blocking mats? One of my many bosses at work was talking to me about knitting, and I was explaining blocking to him, and he told me that he put a gym in his house, and had a few of the rubber mats left over, and told me I could have them if I wanted them. Score. They’re not as cool as Wen’s Dora The Explorer mats, but they’ll do.

Anyway, as you can see, the pattern didn’t turn out as I’d hoped, and it’s mostly because it’s all garter stitch. Two rows of garter, one pattern row, another row of garter. So I ditched that and found another feather and fan pattern on knitpicks. It’ll probably take me six months (at least, with size three needles), but I’m doing it.

Last night I went to happy hour with La for drinks and crack avocado rolls. She also gave me presents!

This cute little project bag, in my favorite color, purple. (Even though I have way more pink yarn than one person should have, purple has always been my favorite color. When I was little, I wanted to change my name to Violet, but my mom wouldn’t let me. Stupid mom.)

Yarn! In the JenLa colorway! I don’t know what I’m going to do with it yet, but I love the colors.

So far I have the ribbing on the back piece, and I’m about fifteen rows into the pattern.

I don’t know if my hacky purling skills, or this yarn, but my stitches aren’t always consistent.

I am enjoying the cabling pattern, and it’s moving along nicely (I don’t have any pictures of the cables yet).

I’ve also been attempting to make my mom’s little dog Mackenzie a hooded sweater, but mostly it just looks like I’m making a pair of panties.

I’ve discovered that I’ve been knitting the size for a smaller dog (that, and Mackenzie has grown since I started this thing), so it’s likely going to be ripped out and I’ll save the yarn for something else. It’s KnitPicks Swish Superwash, and I like it. I think the color is called “bubblegum” or something.

My friend’s birthday is coming up soon, so I thought it would be fun to try a SIMPLE lace shawl pattern for her. She and her husband are mystified by knitting. They watched me knit a hat one night, and I thought they were going to lose their minds. Her husband, DB, is fascinated by circular needles, and the difference between them and straights. We had a strange and lengthy conversation about them, and wood vs. metal the other night. I’m hoping that means a set of either the KnitPicks Options needles or the new Harmony set will be gifted to me for my birthday (especially since he ASKED me how to spell “knitpicks”). That would be nice.

Anyway. Back to the lace. I was reading one of my knitting blogs, and saw that the Forest Canopy Shawl was good for beginners, so I thought I’d give it a try. I bought the pattern, and then I bought some laceweight yarn. Well, I don’t think I have to tell you that this didn’t go well. It’t not the pattern was too hard, but the lace was a much finer weight than I’m used to with size eight needles. I can do tiny yarn with tiny needles, but not tiny yarn with bigger needles.

So I was telling my dilemma to La, and she suggested that I try a heavier yarn, and directed me to Elann’s Baby Cashmere. I ordered it, and after I stopped petting it and rubbing it on my face, I started knitting it.

And, while my lace didn’t look perfect, I was feeling pretty pleased with myself for not being completely clueless.

Then as I tried to flatten out the yarn for the picture, I saw this:

I dropped like, three stitches many rows below where I was. I was not happy. So I started ripping. And before I knew it, all of it was gone. I really should learn to just put the yarn aside for a while until my frustration goes away instead of just instantly ripping. Anyhoo, I realized that there was no way I’d get the shawl done in time anyway, so I started looking around at smaller projects, and thought of a scarf with the feather and fan pattern. Using the same yarn, I started knitting it with size seven needles, and what I got doesn’t look anything like the pictures I’ve seen on Ravelry.

The patterns between the yarn-overs aren’t showing, and I don’t know if it’s the needle size or what. I don’t know if I should abandon this or keep knitting, hoping that a miracle will occur during blocking and it will magically be beautiful, and you can see the pattern. I’m not too worried about ripping this one out, because it’s an easy pattern, and it’s pretty quick, so I have time to start it over. I just need to know how to make it look like it’s supposed to.

Any and all advice is welcomed.

Instead, I’ll woo you all with my knitting-related activities of late.

All two of them.

I, like every other knitter in Los Angeles (ok, not every knitter) went to the Central Library to see the Yarn Harlot woo and amuse us all with her stories.

To say she was just funny would be an understatement. But then, anyone that’s read her blog or any of her books knows that’s she’s more than just a funny knitter. She was fantastic, but I think we all knew she would be.

I was very amused by the library cop who cracked the whip to keep us in a straight line before the event.

She got WAY too much pleasure in yelling at a bunch of knitters to get in a proper line. It made me wonder what her home life must be like, and her poor, poor husband. If there is a husband.

I didn’t notice them at the time, but apparently a lot of ASK were there, including Wen, who I kept hearing, but could never see, which was frustrating as hell. Of course, when I read all my knit blogs Monday after, I saw me and my group in the background of practically every one of their blogs, which made me laugh.

Saturday, I met up with some of my knitting homies for some yarn shopping and lunch.

We met at Alamitos Bay Yarn Co., where I had never been before. I have to say, I found it to be a very charming little store.

I feel confident in saying that, because I work right around the corner from a snooty yarn store that sells almost no yarn that costs less than $20 a skein, which is out of this girl’s price range. And the people that shop there are complete ASSHOLES. L’Atelier is well known as “one of those” LYS for a reason. (Although the two girls that work there that I’ve dealt with have been fairly friendly. I’ve had to go there for needles or stitch markers, etc. when I’m knitting on my lunch break at work.)

I enjoyed looking and feeling all the yarns that they had in the store. And, of course, I had to buy some.

Five skeins of Rowan Summer Tweed. I have to say, I really love Rowan yarns. More than I can afford to. I saw some of the Felted Tweed, and fell in love. I wanted to buy twenty or thirty balls of it right then and there, but I’d have to sell one of my kidneys first.

I also bought some Jitterbug sock yarn.

(That’s not a very good picture.)

I also bought some Lorna’s Laces sock yarn in Flame (pink, red, orange colors), but I guess I didn’t upload those pictures. It’s pretty, though.

If I go back before the end of the month, I get 20% off of my order since my birthday is the 28th. I am tempted.

Damn you, yarn.

After shopping, we went over and had lunch at the restaurant next door.

In the back: Wen, Michelle, and Silvia.
In the front: Me, Carolyn, La, and Jill.

There was much enjoyment to be had. We ate, drank, talked trash, and even knitted a little.

I even managed to embarrass a waiter, which surprised me, because he claimed to be a staff photographer at the Playboy Mansion on Sundays. Now, I’ve never been to the Playboy Mansion, but I have to assume things more shocking than the word “vagina” happen at these events.

I’m just saying.

This is some Lorna’s Laces Sheperd Sock yarn I swiped from a girl in my local knitting group who was purging her stash. I got one skein from her, and already had two skeins of the same colorway (Iris Garden, I think is the name) that I bought before. I LOVE THIS YARN.

I love the colors (pink and purple are my favorite colors), and I love how the colors are striping in a large spiral pattern.

Since I loathe the DPNs (oh, how I do), I had a girl in my knitting group show me how to cast on using the magic loop method, and I have to tell you - I AM IN LOVE WITH THE MAGIC LOOP.

I increased too many times and ended up with something almost big enough to be a baby hat (seriously, what is my problem?), so I ended up having to rip out a lot of rows. I was making some good progress after that, and realized I made a stitch on one side by doing an accidental yarn over, which created a hole. And me, being the ditz knitter that I am, I didn’t notice this until about, oh, fifteen rows up. So again, I ripped.

I guess it’s a good thing I don’t mind ripping back and starting again.

I have this feeling I’m going to become of those knitters who has a thousand WIPs and no FOs. Especially since I’ve found about a dozen patterns this week that I want to start, including the Central Park Hoodie, a shawl (god help me), and a totally adorable hooded sweater that I’m going to make for my Mom’s spastic little dog Mackenzie.

And oh yeah - a second sock.

I’d love to post a kajillion pictures of wonderful knitting I’ve been doing in the meantime, but then, that wouldn’t really be my blog, would it? But at this point, I don’t even have pictures of messed up knitting to show you, because I haven’t been knitting much.

I had surgery on June 16th (and thanks to my jacked up body and its extreme resistance to any kind of normal healing, a second surgery on July 2nd), and apparently, when you’re all jacked up on anesthesia and morphine, you don’t really have much of an attention span for anything other than staring and/or drooling in the few hours you can manage to keep yourself awake.

Before the surgery, not realizing that would happen, I went out and bought a TON of cotton, convinced I was going to make myself loads of new dishcloths while I was stuck in the hospital and while I was at home on medical leave.

Well, that didn’t happen. I didn’t touch my knitting. The only thing I touched was my remote control, to change my television from the crappy reality show I was watching to a different crappy reality show.

About two weeks ago, I finally did  pick up my knitting again, only to get myself completely flustered and confused. So, trellis has been put on indefinite knitting hiatus. I don’t know. Maybe that yarn just wasn’t right, or the pattern wasn’t right (I refuse to believe the knitter wasn’t right!), so I’m just going to put it away for a little while and try something else.

I decided to try sonnet, because Knitty claims it is for beginners. I decided to do it all in garter stitch though, because I wasn’t really sold on the knit/box stitch combo. I’m using some wool I got from knitpicks, and I have to tell you, I’m not loving the yarn so far. But I have a bunch of it, and dammit, I’m using it up.

In more exciting news (I know, right now you’re thinking, “How could it possibly get any MORE exciting?!?”), I am going to try knitting socks. I’ve got a bunch of sock yarn, and making socks was the whole reason I wanted to learn to knit in the first place. I think the first one will be this sock, and since I am convinced that whoever invented DPNs specifically had mocking me in mind when he/she invented them, I am going to try Magic Loop.

It’s so fun to be inexperienced.

I made some notes on the side of the chart, and color-coded the different cabling patterns, and all was going well. When I saw the cable patterns emerging in my work, I almost lost my mind with excitement. Luckily, I was at work, so I maintained a little composure, but inside I was ecstatic. This was a big moment for me.

Now, if you look closely at that picture, you’ll see that the cable on the left isn’t quite right. That’s because while I was knitting on my lunch break at work on Friday, the jerks I work with kept bugging me, and I had one stitch left at the end of the row. So I went back, and figured out that I didn’t do a knit stitch before the first twisted stitches, so I tried tinking back.

Have I mentioned that I have no idea how to tink back with cables? Because I don’t. I did my best to figure out all those twisted stitches and get them back in order, but at some point I dropped one of them.

So now I’m left with a gap at the top of the cable, and it looks like I dropped the stitch. And I have no idea how to pick it up when it’s part of a cable stitch.

I really wish my neighbor was a knitter instead of pantsless psychopath (I’ll go into that later in my other non-knitting blog.) so that I could run over there for help in these sort of situations.

I’ve never worked with charts before, so I spent a lot of time messing up the pattern and either going back, or starting over altogether. And I don’t mind having to do it again, because I do enjoy the act of knitting just for the sake of knitting, not just for the sake of completing something. And I want to learn from my stupid mistakes and not keep making them. But I think I’m reaching the point of Project Abandonment here. Not yet, but I’m close.

I found myself getting the two different cable patterns mixed up, so I got an idea at work today and figured out a way that might make it easier on me.

So I started going, and noticed the difference it made, and how easy it was, and I felt so clever.

Then I realized something. On the key, it says black squares are purls on the right side, knit on the wrong side.

Um.

That whole right side/wrong side switch eluded me, and I was purling ALL the black squares and knitting ALL the white squares. As soon as I realized what I was doing, I just stopped. I resisted my urge to rip it all out and do something else, and put it back in the plastic bag and went back to my desk (I knit on my lunch break).

Like I said in my last post, directions sometimes confuse me (I never admitted to being the sharpest knife in the drawer). And having to worry about if I’m on a RS or WS row, and if the black square means knit or purl. And while I admit to still being new to the world of knitting, I’m sure there’s a reason that the key switches each row, and why they couldn’t make the knit/purl key consistent throughout the WHOLE pattern. I definitely need to start sucking up to the real-life knitters I know so I can beg them for help more often.

This might take a while.